If you are a fan of condescending grown men who throw temper tantrums on the sidelines and buy Khaki’s from Wal*Mart, then you will love the head Coach of the 49ers, Jim “the Douchebag” Harbaugh. In fact one of my favorite local sports radio shows only refers to him as “the douchebag.” Hell even the 49ers organization don’t seem too fond of him. He’s taken them to the NFC Championship in 3 straight years and they still were talking about getting rid of him at the beginning of the year. He must be a grade A prick for that kind of treatment. I hate this team with a passion but I suppose I’ll review them anyways.
Receivers Michael Crabtree, Anquan Boldin, and now newly signed Stevie Johnson from the Bills are an incredibly talented receiving group. Throw in tight end Vernon Davis, who caught 13 TD’s last year, and this is a team should have an explosive passing attack. It looked that way last season too, instead they were the 3rd worst passing team in the NFL. The reason why is simple: Colin Kaepernick is overrated. He’s a hell of an athlete who is fast as hell, but his accuracy and decision making are questionable. When he gets in trouble his instinct is to run the ball. A good quarterback is always looking down field.
Frank Gore leads this run based offense, and has been consistently good his entire career (all for the 49ers). He has exceeded 1000 yards in 7 of the last 8 years. But he is 31 now, and historically NFL running backs decline after 30. If this happens to Gore expect LaMichael James or rookie Carlos Hyde to get some carries.
San Francisco’s defense has been the staple of this team the entire 3 year tenure of Harbaugh, last season it was the 5th best in yards allowed and 3rd best in points allowed. They are going to be missing some big pieces in 2014. Safety Donte “Hitner” Whitner left in free agency. Linebacker Aldon Smith. who had 19.5 sacks in 2012, has been in constant legal trouble. He missed 5 games in 2013 and was recently suspended for 9 games this year. NaVorro Bowman, who lead the team in tackles in 2013, suffered a gruesome leg injury in the NFC Championship and probably won’t be ready to play again until midseason. Recently, projected starting Defensive End Ray McDonald was arrested for Domestic Violence and should be expecting a hefty suspension soon.
Despite all of the 49ers offseason troubles the media still loves picking them as a Super Bowl favorite. I disagree. This team is imploding right before our eyes. People think I’m crazy, but I am calling it now, the 49ers are missing the playoffs this year.
Click on the logo below to see the final team in Hawk’s 2014 NFL Preview: AFC West Edition: the SEATTLE SEAHAWKS!: